EP 152 THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE PLACE EP: 2 “THIRD TIMES THE CHARM: Finding Myself After Leaving (Again... and Again)”

Leaving isn’t always a clean break—sometimes, it takes a few tries. In this deeply personal episode of Clemenz With a Z, I share my journey of walking away from the ICOC... three times. From the pressure-packed Bible studies to the weight of guilt, shame, and trying to fit into a mold that never felt like me, this is the story of what it took to finally say enough. I talk about the fear of leaving, the hope that maybe things would change, and how stepping away felt like wandering into the wilderness—terrifying, but ultimately freeing. Whether you’ve wrestled with leaving a community, questioned your place in something you thought would be home, or just want to hear an honest journey of self-discovery, this episode is for you. Sometimes walking away isn’t quitting—it’s the start of something real.

If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was part of the ICOC or ICC and would like to share your journey in and out of the church, I’d love to hear from you. Together, we can keep exploring that question, “We were in a cult?”—and maybe, in sharing these stories, we’ll find some healing along the way. You can reach me at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or send me a DM on Instagram at the Clemenz With a Z podcast page.

If this episode spoke to you, please consider leaving a rating or review—it really does help more people find these conversations. And don’t forget: I’m just a channel—I ain’t the source.

When did worship music start to feel more like a concert than a connection? In this episode of Clemenz With a "Z," I dig into the weird, wild world of modern worship and Christian music—where flashing lights, fog machines, and booming bass lines often take center stage. I’m not here to tell you what’s right or wrong—I don’t have the answers. I just know something about it makes me uncomfortable, and I wanted to talk about it. From childhood memories of reverent hymns led by my dad to walking into churches that look more like concert arenas, I’m exploring how we got here... and what it supposed to be. Tune in, sit with the questions, and maybe even laugh a little as we unpack the line between heartfelt praise and full-blown production.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Clemenz With a Z. Your support means the world to me and helps keep these important conversations going.

If this episode resonated with you, challenged you, or just made you think differently about worship and Christian music, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Conversations like these aren’t about being ‘right’—they’re about being honest.

You can reach me via email at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or send me a DM on Instagram at the Clemenz With a Z podcast page.

If you enjoy the podcast, please consider rating and reviewing—it helps more people find these stories and join the conversation. And remember:

I’m just a channel... I ain’t the source.

If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524

Walking away can be scary. Trusting yourself can be terrifying. But it can also be the beginning of something honest. So until next time—take care of yourself, stay grateful, and keep growing.

Peace.